Boy Observation
by WildFire864
Summary: This is from Chloe's point of view about the opposite sex. She is taking notes on boys for The Torch. Most of the characters are characters you don't know. Clark and Pete do pop up here and there. ch.4 has a character named JURGEN, it is actually Mike.
1. Hour One and Passing Period

_Hour One & Passing Period in the Boy Observation_

__

_I have decided to disregard the occurrences before first hour. Nothing really exciting was happening. Except for C.K. walking into the room while I was on the phone with dear-old-dad. And thus we begin first hour. Mr. R's class is always fun. Stetsen usually asks Lana for a pencil, and he follows through with this. Nothing out of the ordinary. Jake is a no-show....SURPRISE! _

As I do my usual eavesdropping on the conversation, I decide it is nothing but music talk and the latest technology in dumbed-down terms. Probably to make it easier for comprehension, I know I do that. It's basically just Zach and Stetsen talking about how they don't like to use certain 'downloaders.' "Smart guy" [aka Caleb] looks at Lana like she's a crazy person. It happens on a regualr basis. So, she laughs...big deal. Ooh, dialogue...BATTLE OF THE SEXES!

LANA: Hey, Stetsen.....  
(There was no response.)  
LANA: Stet-sen!  
STETSEN: What??!!??!!  
[And I laugh, these notes will be gold someday, you wait and see...]

Mr. Zach gets tired and lays his head on his desk. G'night Zach-y. See you in the wee hours of ten or fifteen minutes. ;) [Me and my snarky remarks.]

Stetsen leans over and begins to rummage the Mr. R's stuff. Hmm....curious much. And I quote Lana: 'that's not suspicious.' I look to my left and notice that "Smart Guy" has decided the stuff in the cold, wooden drawers looks appealing. Why are they so NOSY? I look back up, Zach still has his head down, but he proceeds to scratch him self. (Cue my shuddering....ewe...)

I decided statistics are a good thing to use....

5/9 boys have their heads down and are asleep. 2/9 boys are rummaging through the teacher's drawers. Then there's Brady. He looks REALLY lost. I wonder what he's thinking. On second thought, I really don't want to know. Some things are better left unsaid. Chris is writing. "Smart Guy" and Stetsen decided to look in the cabinets. Really, it's probably not that interesting. But, taking into consideration they're boys, I assume it's just an attention thing. More dialogue...

STETSEN: But...it's good for you! HYPER-SPONGE!

I'm pretty happy I wasn't listening to the majority of the conversation. [Thinks that maybe I should begin using code names...fourth and seventh hours could get pretty nasty...]

I notice that Mr. R is calling for LeVon, who is sleeping....face down on the desk.

MR.R: LeVon!  
(There is no response...his neighbor...Chris...taps him.)  
MR.R: LeVon!

LeVon gets up and fetches a green pass. He gets his stuff and leaves. Aaron begins to blow his nose. Why are boys loud when they do this? Stetsen and "Smart Guy" are still being annoying dufuses.

STETSEN: Ooh, Copper!

Mr. R realizes that LeVon has drooled on his table!

MR.R: He drooled on my table!!  
AARON: WOW! WOW! WOW! DANG, MAN!  
MR.R: Holy cow. I'm bleaching it.

As Mr. R is bleaching the table, I look at C.V. What on earth has he been writing that takes a whole period? Cue the bell, end notes for hour one.

PASSING PERIOD

I notice two boys chasing eachother down the hallway, Clark catches up to me and points out that Derek is pressing up against his girlfriend. WOW, Clark!


	2. Hour Two and Passing Period

_Hour Two & Passing Period Of The Boy Observation_

_Okay, second hour is a computer class. While I look around, I notice that my calculations show 2/3 boys log on immediately without permission from the teacher. Then, I notice that the third waits until the bell has rang to not get permission and press the 'lethal button' [Note to self: the button really isn't lethal...I just like that word.] The hall has been silence for almost three minutes when I decide that our teacher should be in class. Hmm, where is Mr.G? _

_I glance at the boys in the front row. They have decided that the one on the right shouldn't buy the trash-y, broken down truck. The boy behind him is on Myspace. Don't they have blocks for that. Oh...proxy. I use that, too. The next one is on google. News. Phone web site. I-Pod page. More googling. And I assume the boy behind me in on Myspace, as usual. Oh, there's Mr. G._

_MR.G: Okay, Robert. Stand up. Now go put your coat in your locker. It doesn't belong in class. _

_He sighs, grumbles, and finally does as he is told. _

_1/4 girls are logged on until 'G' gives them permission. _

_After a decent amount of time passes, I pick up that two boys behind me are arguging about who had more properties in Monopoly. _

_MR.G: Do you guys really want to play Monopoly?_

_Seven boys scatter to play the overrated board game, when one girl joins them. Amia, on of the guys....I assume. _

_Class is very boring elsewhere...until. _

_I become very frustruated with all the hooping and hollering in the back. The incoherent yelling is obnoxious. DIALOGUE TIME!!!!_

_BOY 1: I need some money, cuz. Na-I-mean?  
[Is trying really hard to decode the slang usage.]  
BOY 2: Ya'll needa be landin' on my spots.  
BOY 3: I gotta get me some houses, dawg!  
[I chuckle...the English teacher would be so upset.]_

_About half of the class passes without any more activity._

_MR.G: 4 minutes, guys.  
BOY 2 [Again]: Ay, can ya tell us when we got 1 minute, man? ----I'm pausin' the game right herr.  
MR.G: Less than a minute probably..._

_PASSING PERIOD: _

_The random group of jocks slash preps that satnd outside of my J.1 class is talking about stereos in the presence gracing. After my bathroom break of two and a half minutes...they're gone. _


	3. Hour Three and Passing Period

_Hour Three and Passing Period_

_Clark begins to thumb through his notebook. After reading what he has to say in his journals, I'm honestly kind of afraid to know what he's thinking. As Nelson brings up shopping on 'Black Friday' the boys across the room do a roar of fake cheers. Apparentally, shopping isn't their thing. _

_CLARK: Retail sucks this time of year. Chloe, what's the date?  
ME: The 26th. _

As we are on our way to the library, Clark points out a small set of words etched onto the wall.

CANADA F****** ROCKS!

Upon entrance, Clark pulls out his note pad.

CLARK: Oh, my God! Pete!  
[Shows me his notebook.]

BOOBIES!  
BOOBIES!  
BOOBIES!  
BOOBIES!  
BOOBIES!

[You get the point.]

Maneesh walks up. Hmm, I didn't know Maneesh and Clark hung out...cool.

MANEESH: You writing notes to your girlfriend?  
CLARK: No. [Hands me the note.]  
MANEESH: Dude, you're buff.

_I proceed to check my messages on Myspace. One from Natalie, something about not totally hating Jake. One from Josh: I'm here. Hmm, now that I've wasted that time……._

_Maneesh decides to grace us with his presence again. [And my sarcasm kicks in again. He and Cody are like……weird……] So, Cody talks to himself?f_

_CLARK: Clark, you're a f****** genius. _

_[Maneesh walks away after a well-thought-out solo from some lame band that probably only three percent of the population knows.]_

_CLARK: I shall interview the security guard._

_After I have about seven or eight minutes of pure silence with PENgwen, Clark returns. Sticking his arm into my side. _

_CLARK: What's the date?_

_CHLOE: 26__th__…I told you that._

_CLARK: Still?_

_PASSING PERIOD:_

_Totally uneventful. Usual bathroom break. _


	4. Hour Four and Passing Period

_Fourth Hour & Passing Period in my O.S. Observations_

_NOTE TO READERS: Oh my…GOSH! Here we go. Palmer walks in…half-way dancing. _

_PALMER: Jesus!_

_[Deven follows…hmm…he wore that shirt Monday. Didn't he?]_

_DEVEN: Still?!_

_Oh, cue my thoughts….preppy boy!!!!! [aka Dan Proctor.]_

_Mike walks in and hugs Ashley. Looks like today is going to be eventful give the situation. WE HAVE A SUB!!!! He proceeds to MAKE ME SIT BY HIM so he can read my notes. Pfft, I think not. _

_Deven has a chocolate bar…it's almond. Apparently Coffee wanted it, because Deven doesn't have it anymore. :/ As I am observing. JURGEN leans on me. Don't…I'm busy. I realize that he is still trying to read my notes. _

_MIKE: Can I please read them?_

_CHLOE: No, you can not._

_MIKE: Am I in them?_

_CHLOE: Are you a boy?_

_MIKE: I think so._

_CHLOE: There you go. Get off of me, please and thank you. _

_[He's a decent listener.]_

_I can smell Deven's chap stick. It's red and smells like medicine, must be cherry. Coffee then fumbles through Basma's bag of chocolate bars she is using for collecting money. Mike decides to yell random nonsense. _

_MIKE: America!!!! F*** YEAH! DIDDER!!!!! BOBBY! [Faces me] Is that _

_annoying, hon?_

_I decide that just glaring is my best bet at getting a reaction. Epic fail. _

_The movie is started._

_COFFEE: I love this movie._

_MIKE: It's Alvin and the Chipmunks!_

_COFFEE: It's Elmo, stupid. _

_I decide that I have had enough. I can slightly hear discussion about cartoon characters._

_MIKE MENTIONED: Bugs Bunny, Donald Duck, and Bubble Gum._

_COFFEE MENTIONED: Elmo…repeatedly. _

_As I notice Mr. Maxwell or Mr. Micah, I haven't really figured out yet, handing Basma ten cents. Mike yells, "DRUG MONEY!!!!" Deven fakes a laugh. Chocolate bars seem popular today. Mike begins to make farm animal noises. Can't forget Chewbacca. It goes like this…he spelled it for me: arrrrrrwwwaaaggghhh. That was after he drew the 'flight paths' on my desk. I swear I could make a scrapbook of the stupid crap he draws on my desk and in my notebooks. Cue the elephant noise._

_CHLOE: What are you doing?_

_MIKE: I can't make an echo…gotta lick my lips. (Faces me) Lick them. _

_CHLOE: I'll pass. No thank you. _

_He gets up and grabs a newspaper. Great, Starship is back. He begins to fold the edges down. _

_MR.M: Whatcha making?_

_MIKE: A hat._

_[I think: Liar. What a freaking liar!] _

_MR.M: Okay._

_DEVEN: Why are you drawing on it? It looks like an airplane to me._

_MIKE: [Glares and dramatic pause] Give it a sec. _

_DEVEN: Are you drawing flames on your AIRPLANE? _

_MIKE: IT'S A HAT!_

_PALMER: HEY Robert!!!!_

_Deven walks to his desk…grunting…like an anteater. _

_COFFEE and MIKE begin to discuss a certain teacher and his obsession with note taking. _

_PALMER: CHOcolATE! _

_I miss it, but when I look over, Deven has a gold grill across his teeth. _

_DEVEN: I'm so gangster! [Belches] _

_MIKE: I could beat that._

_MR.M: That's gross._

_MIKE: I could still beat it. _

_Deven and Mike call Bobby a D-A-C-K. I think the 'A' should be an 'I.'_

_Mike decides we should slow clap, since the movie is over. This isn't Not Another Teen Movie. _

_MIKE: Woooooo! Who can make a goose out of this? [Holds up newspaper airplane.]_

_The class does the wave. Teenagers are hilarious. Deven screams like a girl. His T-Shirt is very fitting. I mean the saying: Scream Like A Girl! Coffee folds back a flap on the airplane. _

_COFFEE: It's a goose. _

_MIKE: A retarded goose. BA-CAW._

_Hmm, that's a crow, actually. _

_Mike gets up to throw away the Newspaper-goose-airplane-hat. _

_MIKE: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN! Bobby, weren't you in that movie? Opposite Heath Ledger?_

_BOBBY: No, that movie's gay. _

_MIKE: Exactly. _

_There is a pointless conversation about Facebook and whether or not it was over rated. _

_DEVEN: GIIIISSSSEEEELLLLLLLLAAAA! _

_[Gisela is the German name of a girl in our class.]_

_MIKE: BOBBY! He wants to get slapped. _

_DEVEN: Shut up. _

_MIKE: Bobby, run. I'll time you. _

_Bobby prepares to run, Palmer is next to Mike._

_PALMER: Go!_

_MIKE: NO! Psych. _

_The finally quit teasing him. It takes him three seconds to cross the desks._

_MIKE: Dude, that was like nine seconds. _

_Then the conversation about whether or not "tooken" was acceptable since…_

_COFFEE: We're in German class, we don't have to use correct English._

_MIKE: Bobby tooken my pencil. So I taked it back._

_Deven walks over to me and steals my pen. Mike jerks it away from it and looks at me._

_MIKE: [Whispers] I have a butt crack to draw on. _

_CHLOE: Gross. _

_He wasn't lying. Palmer's really was hanging out. And he really did draw on it…with my red pen. What I am writing this note with. _

_PALMER: Oh._

_MIKE: Ooh._

_PALMER: Aaahhh. _

_The sex noises continue…as they do daily._

_Mike walks to the left and begins to dance. He then sits cross legged on a desk that Coffee tips over. Mike falls onto Lars [aka Dakota.] _

_PROCTOR: Guys, what statistic do you vote for?_

_MIKE: [Yells] The wave._

_The class does the wave…again. _

_I look at Coffee, he is standing on Lars…and jumping on him. Palmer stares at me annoyingly. Deven sits in front of me while Mike begins to beg to read this, again. NO! _

_Mike nicknames the whole class, minus me. Deven draws on my arm. _

_Palmer, Mike, Coffee, and Bobby throw around a lent roller for a long time. Pretty weird. Proctor puts speculation of Bobby being gay to rest. Some paper wads get thrown. Mike hugs me for no apparent reason. I guess that's just him. "It's okay, baby." Okay, enough P.D.A. and Terms of Endearment. _

_PASSING PERIOD_

_Went to bathroom stall and added to the list of boys to be avoided:_

_-Brandan Stone_

_-Tre (last name?)_

_-_

_-Austin Coffey_


	5. Hour Five and Passing Period

_Hour Five & Passing Period in 'The Project'_

_Geometry is never very entertaining. So, pretty much…I only expect a page or so. Dialogue…_

_NICK: So, are you guys sexual partners?_

_[The sarcasm in his voice annoys me…]_

_KATE: NO!_

_I decide to quit eavesdropping. This is starting to get annoying. I don't like paying attention to everything that is going on in the school. _

"_WHOSE BI?" _

_The whole class is basically wrapped in bisexuals and gays. ¼ people to my left is a girl. She loves it…they do, too. _

_KATE: Are you gay?_

_ZANE: NO!_

_KATE: Are you sure?_

_ZANE: Yeah. _

_QUINTRELL: Man, Arian, is the tape over there?_

_I think that Arian and Quintrell should date. I don't know. They're cute. Jeremy and Nathan are working together. They're actually quiet. It's refreshing. Adam sings…CONSTANTLY! __L__ 5 minutes left…the longest five minutes of my life. I don't now…lesbians are entertaining I guess, that's all they're talking about. Nathan compliments my string art project. W00t!_

_PASSING PERIOD_

_Jademan and some random guy are in the hallway practically flirting. _


	6. Lunch and Passing Period

_Lunch and Passing Period_

_So, Clark gave me a note today. I assume a weekly compliment. Natalie is with me and she is arguing with me about who can and can't read it. After she leaves, Clark brings up what I put on his iPod. _

_CLARK: I took a p*** listening to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. It was the most amazing experience ever. _

_I see a kid throw a brush at another kid. Darron wandering aimlessly. Kody walks up singing about how smoking pot is fun. He has no clue that I'm writing down what he says. Haha. _

_CLARK: Did you smoke today?_

_KODY: No. _

_When the discussion about being high and stupidity continues between them, I see Deven texting. Who? Oh, well. Clark goes into a spasm because he doesn't like Strawberry milk. REALLY doesn't like Strawberry milk. Kody is talking about having the munchies. _

_KODY: (At Kaitlyn) OMG, OMG, have you seen 'Twilight?'_

_I try to find a reason why 'Twilight' isn't an epic fail. --Nothing. Clark turns to Natalie. _

_CLARK: Oh, my! Gah! It's so cold. _

_Natalie then puts ketchup on CLARK's arm. It really freaks him out. He is practically dancing in his chair. Haha! Why he starts to kick my side repeatedly…I don't know. Maybe he's trying to get me to squeak…this seems to be his thing right now. _

_PASSING PERIOD_

_CLARK and I talked about how he quit smoking. I'm really proud of him. ^_^_


	7. Hour Six and Passing Period

_Sixth Hour and Passing Period_

_I walk in and Robert is singing. What is it with boys and singing? Why are Kelcey and Austin playing with each other's nipples? This is weird…boys are weird. This is when Roberts begins to complain that 'I took his seat.' We continue to argue about who was there first. As we walk to the Auditorium, A.J. hangs around Olivia and Karina. This is nothing unusual. Connie is uber-quiet. He plays his Nintendo D.S. the whole time and carries his script around in his mouth. Randy is talking to Kelcey, he is face-to-face with him. Wonder what that's all about? Keifer is playing the instruments. _

_MRS. H: KEIFER!!!_

_Lana attempts to get herf MP3 Player back from Robert. He puts up a small fight, but eventually gives in. It is hers. Why should he fight? A.J. accidentally cusses. The class laughs. The whole thing is very Middle School. From the loft, Keifer waves a water bottle at us. Lana giggles. _

_Robert and Kelcey are on stage complaining about A.J. They begin to argue, and Robert is actually right…for once. _

_ROBERT: I know my lines._

_MRS. H: That's because you only have 5!!!_

_Keifer goes across the stage trying to hide behind a fake palm tree. _

_A.J.: Hiii-eeek!_

_Robert laughs. A.J. then does this a second time, it is in the script. I look at Randy and realize he is about 3 inches away from Rheaunna's face. Keifer plays with a tree again. _

_ROBERT: (To A.J.) Are you crazy? _

_Keifer and those trees…again. _

_Robert and Kelcey are whispering about A.J. again. Where's Austin…hmm…thought provoking. _

_LANA: He's in the loft. _

_Robert punches Lana's back. _

_ROBERT: I didn't mean it. _

_PASSING PERIOD_

_Clark gives me another note. _


	8. Hour Seven and The Bus

_Hour Seven_

_Clark quit smoking for two reasons: me and his voice. Hrm. Justin and Robert B. are sitting on the desks. This class is very eventful usually. Justin talks about how he likes fighting. Boys are silly. 8 or 9 out of 17,18, or 19 students are boys. The fire alarm buzzes. Uh-oh. Boys seem to be the only ones yelling. There is a lot of pushing and shoving. Deven screams like a girl. I thought that I only had to hear this fourth period. _

_IN THE LAB_

_David and this other kid are banging on desks. This is really stupid. _

_DAVID: COCAINE! _

_David seems like my main subject for seventh period. He calls girls "f****** dumb." That's nice. Basically, it's a lot of flirting. Oh…Robert B. throws a disk cover. David throws it back. I have to duck. This feels like jail…not that I know how that feels, but I'm guessing. David argues with the teacher about creative stories._

_DAVID: Like, I Am Sam, only I Am David. _

_Roberts begins yelling randomly and incoherently. He says to Mrs. R. _

_ROBERT B.: Stop threatening me with that s***! I'm going to break this d*** computer. _

_I quit quoting them. There is too much language for me to write. The three in front of my argue A LOT with the teacher. _

"_F*** school, man."_

_Robert B. cusses in front of the teacher once more before the bell rings. Maybe I can talk to Clark now. He seems to be the only sane one. And I'll close with:_

_Connor was picking his nose on the bus. I'm pretty sure he licked his finger, too._


End file.
